Polarity, division, anger, and pain…

There are so many examples in our lives right now of where there is division, polarity, anger and pain about other’s views, choices, actions, and thoughts. Where one person, group, political party, economist, scientist, Dr, or team believe they are right and that others are wrong. The divide seems impenetrable. If we stop for a moment look at the division, I believe 9 times out of 10 this division is caused by fear. Anger from division, is an emotion where we blame someone else or …read more »

What is the Outward Mindset?

In a nutshell. Have you ever wanted to change something about yourself or achieve a personal goal? My guess is you set a goal, changed your behaviours and habits, and moved toward the change… I hear you, tried that, done it, nothing new. Stay with me! Often when we create a change at a behavioural level we can get started or even get close to goal and realise that we have fallen off track, we lose momentum or willpower and we revert to old habits. …read more »

A really quick technique to try for an Outward Mindset in practice

Today I am working at my kitchen table, I have client commitments to complete, emails to answer and this blog to create. In addition, I have four 10-13-year-old boys playing with water balloons in the garden just outside that I am responsible for today (two of them mine).  I am writing with one eye and ear on them and one on this text.  I can feel my mindset turning inward at the juggle and challenge.  When I feel that pressure rising, I have one instant …read more »

What is the impact of an ‘I deserve’ mindset and thoughts?

When the world feels like it does right now, how many of us feel like we deserve something to distract us or make us feel better?  Or is it only me? I have been eating too many of the foods that add kgs and not necessarily nutrition.  I know this because my clothes are telling me.  Now, it ‘should’ be easy to just step out of this habit of comfort, stress or boredom eating and be responsible, hold myself accountable and make healthier choices…so why …read more »

No comparison! – “They are so much better at isolation than me!”

How many of us have seen posts on social media, heard people on the TV or spoken to friends and asked ourselves if we are better or worse than them at coping during the COVID-19 situation? Why might we be compelled to compare, measure, set expectations and judge ourselves against some imaginary standard or winning post?   When our lives change beyond recognition and beyond our control, our reactions are unique.  There are some for whom this is a calling, an awakening, a drive to …read more »

What fear can look like in those we love – How to see the person behind the behaviours through family isolation

As I write the world is battling COVID-19.  My son is throwing a basketball at the outside of the house and every bang reverberates around the walls.  I’m spiky, unsettled, short tempered and exhausted.  It would be so easy to snap at him, allow my frustration at the world to be thrown at him for a moment.  Better still I could throw a spiked invitation of combat to my partner to ‘sort out the children!’, ‘Can’t you see I’m working!’ BUT I know my need …read more »

What if?…

As I write today it seems Coronavirus is impacting on people across the globe and each client I speak with is trying to calculate, predict and plan options around a variety of unknowns. As human beings ‘not knowing’ can ignite a plethora of inward mindset boxes, and often unhelpful thinking patterns can emerge.  Today I thought I would share some of my unhelpful thinking styles and how I’m realising my inward focus actually makes me less resourceful and far more stressed than is useful, at …read more »

What will people think?

‘The must be seen as’ box in Arbinger’s Outward Mindset work is an insidious beast.  How can it be that I may have a sense of the right action to take or thing to say and yet sometimes I have to overcome a fear of voicing my idea or thought with a transient flash or catastrophising premonition of what people might think of me.  My need to be seen as not upsetting anyone, not rocking the boat, not being against the body of opinion, moves …read more »

Turning 2020 outward, one relationship at a time

We have just experienced a time of potentially sharing our time with others and reflecting and enjoying the spirit of our respective beliefs and traditions. For some this is a time of great connection, light, love and joy, for others maybe some sadness and loneliness, frustration and annoyance. For some the ‘expectation’ to be happy, connected to others and fulfilled, can bring pressure and disappointment. Whatever your experiences were, we now move towards the closing of 2019. The gift of letting go, putting things to …read more »

How might mindset be relevant on how agile your project is?

In the latest State of Agile report, the survey responses indicate that organisational cultural issues remain the leading impediments to adopting and scaling agile. General resistance to change, and organizational culture that is at odds with agile values rank as two of the top challenges. So, which of the key AGILE values might mindset be relevant to? Well our mindset can be resistant and inward or responsive and outward, so mindset can impact on how we respond to change over following the plan. If change …read more »