A really quick technique to try for an Outward Mindset in practice

Today I am working at my kitchen table, I have client commitments to complete, emails to answer and this blog to create. In addition, I have four 10-13-year-old boys playing with water balloons in the garden just outside that I am responsible for today (two of them mine).  I am writing with one eye and ear on them and one on this text.  I can feel my mindset turning inward at the juggle and challenge.  When I feel that pressure rising, I have one instant …read more »

What is the impact of an ‘I deserve’ mindset and thoughts?

When the world feels like it does right now, how many of us feel like we deserve something to distract us or make us feel better?  Or is it only me? I have been eating too many of the foods that add kgs and not necessarily nutrition.  I know this because my clothes are telling me.  Now, it ‘should’ be easy to just step out of this habit of comfort, stress or boredom eating and be responsible, hold myself accountable and make healthier choices…so why …read more »

No comparison! – “They are so much better at isolation than me!”

How many of us have seen posts on social media, heard people on the TV or spoken to friends and asked ourselves if we are better or worse than them at coping during the COVID-19 situation? Why might we be compelled to compare, measure, set expectations and judge ourselves against some imaginary standard or winning post?   When our lives change beyond recognition and beyond our control, our reactions are unique.  There are some for whom this is a calling, an awakening, a drive to …read more »

What fear can look like in those we love – How to see the person behind the behaviours through family isolation

As I write the world is battling COVID-19.  My son is throwing a basketball at the outside of the house and every bang reverberates around the walls.  I’m spiky, unsettled, short tempered and exhausted.  It would be so easy to snap at him, allow my frustration at the world to be thrown at him for a moment.  Better still I could throw a spiked invitation of combat to my partner to ‘sort out the children!’, ‘Can’t you see I’m working!’ BUT I know my need …read more »

What if?…

As I write today it seems Coronavirus is impacting on people across the globe and each client I speak with is trying to calculate, predict and plan options around a variety of unknowns. As human beings ‘not knowing’ can ignite a plethora of inward mindset boxes, and often unhelpful thinking patterns can emerge.  Today I thought I would share some of my unhelpful thinking styles and how I’m realising my inward focus actually makes me less resourceful and far more stressed than is useful, at …read more »

What will people think?

‘The must be seen as’ box in Arbinger’s Outward Mindset work is an insidious beast.  How can it be that I may have a sense of the right action to take or thing to say and yet sometimes I have to overcome a fear of voicing my idea or thought with a transient flash or catastrophising premonition of what people might think of me.  My need to be seen as not upsetting anyone, not rocking the boat, not being against the body of opinion, moves …read more »

Turning 2020 outward, one relationship at a time

We have just experienced a time of potentially sharing our time with others and reflecting and enjoying the spirit of our respective beliefs and traditions. For some this is a time of great connection, light, love and joy, for others maybe some sadness and loneliness, frustration and annoyance. For some the ‘expectation’ to be happy, connected to others and fulfilled, can bring pressure and disappointment. Whatever your experiences were, we now move towards the closing of 2019. The gift of letting go, putting things to …read more »

How might mindset be relevant on how agile your project is?

In the latest State of Agile report, the survey responses indicate that organisational cultural issues remain the leading impediments to adopting and scaling agile. General resistance to change, and organizational culture that is at odds with agile values rank as two of the top challenges. So, which of the key AGILE values might mindset be relevant to? Well our mindset can be resistant and inward or responsive and outward, so mindset can impact on how we respond to change over following the plan. If change …read more »

Coaching is to fix, mend or improve, and I am not broken and I’m doing ok…I don’t need a mindset coach

I don’t believe I, my clients or any person has a broken mindset, or even a damaged way of seeing. I do believe however, we can put blinkers on at times, often to feel safe in the moment, and we forget to take them off and this alters our view. We just don’t realise that we are seeing in this filtered way. Outward mindset coaching is time to share a space where there is a chance of seeing every situation through a different lens, to …read more »

Why would anyone undertake outward mindset coaching?

Some of my client’s equate mindset coaching to endurance training, not always entirely pleasant but they come out the other side, more at peace with themselves, more agile and ultimately more resilient. They can recognise their self-deception and start to see choices and decisions more clearly. For most of my clients the recognition is that as their influence increases, they are required to grow systemically with the level of relational complexity that the organization operates within. The changes required of them are no longer just …read more »